I know I haven't said much lately but that's just because I've been too busy and/or too lazy to care. However, I have decided it is unfair of me to ignore your frustrations any longer (and by frustrations I mean the pain and suffering I have brought upon you by not posting for more than a month). So here I am, back again.
I'll start off with a call for human cloning. If you wish to clone me, a certain hospital in Toronto is in possession of my appendix, which in turn is in possession of my DNA. That is of course unless it has been incinerated. You see, I had my appendix taken out last month.
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| Pictured above: My appendix before we parted ways. |
Calm down, calm down. It wasn't that big of a deal. I got a stomach ache and voila, turns out I have appendicitis. All of this was established within the space of about 3 hours. The plus side is I was well enough to walk myself over to the emergency wing at the hospital and demand someone stick his/her sterilized hand into my body to retrieve the offending piece of tissue. Unless scientists discover 40 years from now that the appendix in fact controls your ability to digest something, I'm fine. Now I have a scar that I regularly tell people was a result of an awesome fight involving samurai and katanas. No one believes me...yet.
In other news, Christmas came and went again this year with nothing more than a whimper. After being bombarded for over a month with Christmas music, imagery and subliminal advertising, I had had enough. All I wanted was for Christmas to be over and now it is! Yay! Now we can all focus on more important things like who and what we will be doing for new year's eve. I mean, I love Christmas and all but there's something about getting so drunk you forget your own name that is just slightly more appealing. I don't know; maybe it's just me. If I had more readers (I blame you for my not having enough; you could at least tell your friends to read this blog!) I'd ask you all what you did for Christmas and what you plan on doing for New Year's Eve, and maybe try and hijack your plans. But as the only people who read my blog are my friends and relatives who just check in to make sure I'm still alive, I won't bother.
Before I go any further, I would like to heap praise on one corporation that, despite robbing us blind, makes me happy all the time. Yep, you guessed it. I'm talking about Apple.
I was having issues with my phone (carrier issues because of my carrier) that could have either been a fault of my iPhone itself (they weren't because it was my carrier's fault) or my sim card (or my fucking carrier). So yesterday, I had my sim card changed but that didn't solve any of the problems (that my carrier caused). So instead, I went to the Apple store to see if they could help. After fighting crazy Boxing Day shoppers for the last stool at the Personal Setup desk, I made an appointment at the Genius Bar and proceeded to wait for about 20 minutes. Then, like a professional ninja, an Apple employee appeared out of nowhere to tell me a Genius was ready to see me. Yes, these people are very professional (unnamed carrier, I hope you're taking notes). I explained my problem to my Genius and he laid out all the possible problems and solutions. Psych! I'm kidding. He totally didn't do any of that. He just grabbed my phone, looked at the headphone jack and the 30-pin connector then asked me if I would be cool with getting a new phone. Seriously? Like, DUH!!! So he gives me a new phone, makes me sign his iPod (yes, sign his iPod. Apparently they don't use paper any more), and sends me on my way. This whole meeting lasted less than 3 minutes.
Unfortunately, getting a new phone didn't solve the problem (that the fucking carrier was responsible for!). I wonder why... Either way, I got a new phone out of it! Thank you, Apple!
That right there ends my rant. I wish I could continue but I'm typing with my laptop on my stomach and I'm pretty sure my sperm count is lowering as we speak. I'll see you all in the New Year! Remember: don't drink and drive, don't leave your glass unattended and don't throw up on someone's expensive upholstery. The smell alone takes weeks to get rid of and you'll probably ruin the one pathetic friendship you have left.
2012, here we come! No funny business next December though. I mean it, 2012!
